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What It Means To Date In The 21st Century?

By Ziv Zamechek January 10, 2019

When one thinks about the traditional forms of dating they would envisage something quite dissimilar to what it means to date in today’s world. In the older times dating meant gathering the courage to ask a person out on a date, which usually was the guy, owing to the patriarchal social conditionings that were much more prominent in those days. Following that a girl and guy would go out on a date, whereby the guy would pick the girl up from her home and drive her to a fancy restaurant. Over the course of the dinner/lunch/date these two people would start getting to know more about each other, their interests and their background. Then the guy would drive the girl back to her house and wave her goodbye. This soiree of courtship would follow for several months with telephonic conversations or even letters filling up the time in between. Once both the people are sure about the other, one would propose to the other and they would marry each other with the permission of their families and look forward to starting a family.

In the modern day this idea would be perceived as an alien concept, something completely unrealistic and out of an old clichéd American movie. The generation of today does not know what it means to court in this manner as the fashion and ways of the 21st century is very different from what it used to be. The iconic romantic movie ‘You’ve Got Mail’, starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks introduced the concept of online dating for the first time in front of modern viewers. This movie released way back in 1998 and in just 15 years it has come to become the stark reality of today’s dating scene.

Technology like every other aspect of modern life has even taken over dating. According to a research conducted Pew Research Centre, 1 in every 10 American adults has used a website or an app that is designed to facilitate dating. In today’s world apps and websites are the way in which modern people choose to date. Instead of calling somebody and asking them out on a date all this generation does is to send a message over a social networking site or dating app asking the other person whether they want to go out on a date or not. Knowing the interests and mindsets of a person in order to like them has been replaced by left and right swipes in today’s generation.

The people in the 21st century, especially the young adults usually dilly-dally with a number of suitors which they very conveniently call ‘keeping their options open’. The stability that dating in the older times included has been replaced with uncertainty, trust issues and the need to find someone better. Dating in today’s world is a rushed and expensive process. It is rushed because nobody has the time to figure out whether the other person is the right match for them. If something doesn’t work out or seems off they simply move on to the next option. It is expensive because with so many options, going out on a date can really take a huge chunk out of the pockets. Hence, most dates these days are actually cheap and casual.

It is important to go back to the true values and essence that dating somebody really meant. Today’s generation is simply confused as far as their dating trends are concerned and it is important to not get lost in conundrum in order to find for yourself the perfect partner.

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